One-liners

Funny one-liners, the ultimate collection! This is the complete listing of all the funny one-liners you see on the bottom of every page. Enjoy more than 2000 funny one-liners.

  

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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.

Hey, you want to go out for pizza and some sex? What, you don’t like pizza?

Hey! It compiles! Ship it!

Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand.

— Confucius

Happiness isn’t having what you want, it’s wanting what you have.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

God will forgive me. That’s his job, after all.

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